Bread Attempt #3: A short, fat failure!

My Jovial brand einkorn wheat came yesterday so I was excited to try to make bread with it today.  After going bowling with my 3 year old's preschool class I was pretty tired (and that was just from watching!) but I mustered up enough strength to give it a shot.

Unfortunately the bag of flour was a lot smaller than I had hoped it was.

Because it is called a "sandwich loaf" I was really hoping this would be the recipe that would replace our store bought bread that we use to make...sandwiches!

I combined 4 cups of flour with 1 tsp of salt in one mixing bowl

In a smaller bowl I dissolved 2 teaspoons of Fleischmann's active dry yeast and 1 tbsp of honey in 1 cup of warm water and let it sit for 5 minutes.

Note:  Before really double-checking the recipe I had combined the honey and water with 2 TABLESPOONS instead of 2 TEASPOONS of yeast and this is what happened:

Nice head on that eh?  I ended up throwing it outside because I was afraid to pour it down the drain!

After the 5 minutes I stirred the liquid into the flour and kneaded it inside the bowl until it was to the point where I could knead it on the counter top.  It looked really nice, smooth, and much less sticky than the last try:

I let it rise in a greased bowl with a plastic bag on top since I only own 2 boxes of wax paper and 2 boxes of aluminum foil.  That's a head scratcher. 

Once it had risen for an hour I punched it down.  That step was NOT in the recipe but I had read to do that in other recipes so I just did it.  Probably this was my first real mistake.  After kneading it again for a few minutes I tried to shape it into a loaf.  That didn't work out so well.  I put it in the greased metal 8x4 pan and let it rise for 30 more minutes.  It did not rise very high this time.  Uh-oh.

The recipe called to bake it at 375 for 35-40min.  I checked it at 35 minutes and it seemed overcooked.  I took it out and it smelled like it had been about to burn!  

I took it out of the pan and placed it on the cooling rack.

I let it cool for an hour and then I went and cut a piece.  It was like corn bread texture.  Thick, dense, a little crumbly but not too bad.  Tasted great with butter on it.  BUT NOT A REAL LOAF OF BREAD like I have been envisioning!  I want bread I can use for sandwiches dangit!

My father has a Kitchen Aid that has a kneading attachment and he has a convection oven so I'm going to probably take my ingredients over there the next time I attempt this.  

Back to the flouring board.

Fresh, Yo!

I hadn't had much domestic bliss to write about lately because, well, I've been damn lazy.  Winter tends to do that to me, especially freaky-deaky weather like what we've been having here in Vermont.  One day its 55 (but 35 mph winds of course) and the next its -20 (also with 35 mph winds).  Ya just can't go outside!!!

Perfect day for baking!

After a month or so of this crap I start to just withdraw and have spent too much time watching reality TV.  Teen Mom 1 to be exact.  I just can't believe Gary lets Amber beat on him like that and that SRS doesn't come take Catelynn's brother away from her crack head mom.

But I digress.

Since Thanksgiving as you may know I have been adding fresh juices to my diet.  I'm not fasting (nor do I think I have the discipline to.  Ever.) but I am trying to add 2 veggie juices a day to my regular eating habits.  I also have not had a soda since Thanksgiving.  This is huge for me because I was a big Diet Coke addict from the age of 15 (I'm 34 now) and I didn't think I'd ever be able to stop.  We'll see if I can keep it up in the summer.  I don't feel any different to be honest.  I actually have gained about 6 pounds total since I stopped my antidepressants (when I started juicing) and began eating healthier.  Of course not exercising hardly at all doesn't help.  The juices are not calorie-free so I'm really hoping that when this weather crap breaks I can start walking outside again and even myself back out.

Along with juicing comes an awareness of the other foods you are putting into your body.  I am turned off by pasta now, and by a lot of the snacky foods that I was eating before.  Namely cereal, crackers, and candy.  I was also a York addict but the thought of putting that much pure sugar into my mouth at one time makes me want to gag. I do still eat chocolate though, but I prefer the good stuff.  One thing that I also wanted to learn about was what exactly was in the bread that we all eat so much of.  I have to wonder at times if I am not gluten sensitive.  I have learned from this juicing process that red meat really messes up my insides as I get an episode of IBS every single time I eat it.  I used to think it was vegetables that did that to me until I stopped eating red meat and then reintroduced it.  Holy moly.  I also notice that when I eat a lot of bread I often do not feel that great after.  When I say a lot I mean 2 slices of whole wheat Pepperidge farm type bread and probably a dinner roll in the same day.  That's a lot for me.

I did some research on the type of wheat flour that is used today and found out some interesting facts.  The first thing that I discovered was that the wheat of today is drastically different on a genetic basis than the wheat of our ancestors.  In the last 50 years we have been fed "dwarf" wheat.  Here is a quote from an article on HuffPost that is a real must read:

The Bible says, "Give us this day our daily bread." Eating bread is nearly a religious commandment. But the Einkorn, heirloom, Biblical wheat of our ancestors is something modern humans never eat.

Instead, we eat dwarf wheat, the product of genetic manipulation and hybridization that created short, stubby, hardy, high-yielding wheat plants with much higher amounts of starch and gluten and many more chromosomes coding for all sorts of new odd proteins. The man who engineered this modern wheat won the Nobel Prize -- it promised to feed millions of starving around the world. Well, it has, and it has made them fat and sick.

Here is the full article: Mark Hyman, MD: Three Hidden Ways Wheat Makes You Fat

Naturally I decided to try to find this einkorn wheat. Nope, nowhere to be located in Chittenden County!  Not even in the hoity hippie food stores.  I went online and found out that some people call it "farro" wheat flour.  Without spending more than a few moments on that I remembered seeing that kind of wheat in the bulk section of the Healthy Living market.  The next day we went back there and I bought about a pound and a half of it.  Not super cheap, but perhaps worth it?

Yesterday I tried to find recipes for bread that use this flour.  Zilch.  I found plenty of recipes using the grain itself, but nothing with the flour that was doable in a reasonable time and price range.  Crap.  Several sites kept calling it spelt (which it is not) and emmer (which it kind of is...sometimes) and then I was all confused.  On the advice of my friend Astrid I emailed the King Arthur Flour bakers.  Unfortunately they did not give me a recipe as I had asked, merely gave me more information on the wheat.  I'm thinking at this point that I am wasting my time trying to figure it all out, and decided to just go all in and make a regular bread recipe using this flour.

The first thing I tried was an All Recipe bread.  I used half all-purpose flour and half farro.

The bread did not rise and came out very dense.  My entire family devoured it though and Alicia stated that it was "SPECTACULAR".  I think they are just deprived of good home cooked foods because, let's be honest, I HATE COOKING so they never get any.  They are probably so excited that I actually used the oven for something other than a countertop that they think anything tastes SPECTACULAR.

This morning I was determined to make a real loaf of bread, one that looks bread-y.  Thanks to the magic of Facebook I was offered a delicious sounding recipe from a friend who I have not met in real life but who loves baking.  I substituted 3/4 of a cup of honey for the 1 cup of white sugar since I didn't have any turbinado sugar to use, and I used 1.5 cups of farro plus 3.5 cups of King Arthur Flour Bread Flour.  I also bought new yeast, the Fleischmann's fast rising active yeast, which made a big difference I think.  With the first load I had used an organic Rize brand yeast which was a week out of the sell by date.  I didn't think it would matter but apparently it did!

The first step was to melt a stick of butter and add it to evaporated milk and hot tap water in a separate 1 quart bowl.  She didn't specify how much evap milk and I had only bought small 5 oz cans so I used a total of 8 oz.  I wanted to go easy on the liquids anyway because I was using honey.  Next I had to mix 3 tbsp of yeast with very warm water in a separate small bowl.  This was probably the most difficult part of the entire process.  The yeast immediately clumped up and became nearly impossible to stir so I had to add about a half or 3/4 of a cup of water to it in order to be able to stir it for 3-4 minutes!  It kept sticking to the spoon.

Then I poured in the first liquid measure, added a cup of bread flour, and then added the yeast.  I kept adding flour until I had put in 3.5 cups of KAF bread flour and 1.5 cups farro flour.  The dough seemed to be the right consistency to start kneading.  I spread bread flour on my (clean) counter and then slapped that sucker down.  My only example of kneading to go by was what I remember my mom doing when I was eye level with the counter top.  Can't be all that hard, right?  Those muscles on the backs of my arms started screaming after about, oh, 45 seconds.  I kept going though, picturing the 2 cm shard of glass that is in my left hand in between my metacarpals grinding around, probably puncturing something.  Maybe I really SHOULD get a bread machine.

I kneaded that dough for a good 10 minutes.  I measured the time in Dr Phil commercial breaks.  I then placed it in a greased plastic mixing bowl.

I really do not have a lot of the tools necessary for successful baking, seeing as I have always hated cooking.  I covered it in a damp towel and placed it on top of the oven, which was preheating to 330 degrees.  Within a half hour or so the dough had risen substantially.  I punched it down and kneaded it again for 10 more minutes (or 3 commercial breaks).

 Then I divided it in half since I only have 2 small bread pans, greased the metal one, and placed the dough inside.

I let it rise again until it was about 2 inches higher than the edge of the pan and then put it in the oven for 25 minutes.

Sorry for the blurry pic but my camera lens is busted and if I get a pic in focus its from luck!

After 25 minutes I took them out and knocked gently on them.  Three times.  It sounded hollow to me, which is what the recipe said to listen for.  Yay it was done!!

Except, something wasn't quite right.  The one in the silicon pan was a bit obese due to no support on the sides, and seemed like it was falling in on itself.  I shrugged and walked away, being told to let it cool before messing with it. I waited an hour and went back. I took the one in the metal pan out and decided to cut off the end and eat it.  It was lunch time after all.

Uh....what?

It is hollow!  Like, a huge hole I can stick my head in hollow!  Back to the drawing board.

Shadow says "I'm going back to bed."

Green Juice Tastes Good?

Who knew!

2 green apples

1/2 lemon

1" ginger root

2-3 celery stalks

big ol' handful of kale

1 cucumber

Seriously delicious, served over ice.  

Found this and other great recipes on 

All About Juicing.com

A Few Good Juicer Recipes

Mostly so I won't forget them myself as I never write anything down:

Carrot Orange Ginger

2 Navel Oranges (peeled)

2 washed organic carrots

1/2 inch of ginger root

Serve over ice

Big Salad Drink

2-3 roma tomatoes

2 organic carrots

2 cups spinach

2-3 Collard leaves, stems removed

1/2 medium beet, skin removed

2 large celery stalks

3 cabbage leaves
1/2 radish (1 radish would be fine, was just not sure)

1/4 cup broccoli 

1/2 clove garlic

1/4 lemon, organic with peel

Serve over ice!!!  

Citrus Dream

1 large ruby red grapefruit, peeled

2 navel oranges, peeled

1/2 lime, peeled

1/4 lemon (optional)

Serve over ice

Tropical Heaven

1 large ruby red grapefruit, peeled

1 kiwi, peeled

1/2 mango (no pit)

1/4 lemon

1/3 pineapple core

ZOMG SO GOOD serve on ice

Gettin' Juiced

For about a year or so I have wanted to get a juicer.  I watched the movie "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead" featuring Aussie fat boy gone slim, Joe Cross.  I thought it was going to be infomercial-esque, boring, and forgettable.  However that was not the case.  I was riveted by the transformation of this doughboy into a bit of an Adonis.

 I always like to give some background into my personal self when writing about things like this because we are all so different in our backstories.  What works for one won't work for all.

As I get older and have had more children my body has bounced in and out of shape several times.  I think the part of my life that saved me and gives me hope each time was the 2 years or so that I spent working at and working out at a local gym.  By working there I WAS there and so would get an hour or two in before and/or after my shift.  I only had one child back then too, and a husband who was fine with my daily hours-at-a-time absence.  I was able to build up muscle to the point of feeling and even looking strong, and that has carried me through the subsequent years.  Each time I fall out of shape and then get determined to get back into shape I have the wonderful thing called 'muscle memory' that causes me to reform my previous sculpture quite rapidly.  BUT that only works if I keep working at it.  I also fall out of shape very very quickly, much quicker than it takes me to rebuild.  Mine is a body that needs to be active daily.  My lifestyle is sadly not one that allows that without enormous effort.

Now, back to the original subject!  I noticed the other day that when I put my jeans on that are normally very loose that they felt wrong.  The fabric was digging into my thighs and when I sat down it hurt where the waistband was.  I hadn't weighed myself in a long time because my scale eats batteries so I really had no clue what I weighed.  Last time I had checked I was around 125 (at 5'7").  I got some batteries and gave it a whirl.  When I opened my eyes I saw a number I hadn't seen in a long time.  No wonder I felt like a blimp.  I was starting to blow up!!  In 2 months I have gained over 6 lb and 2% of my body fat back that I had worked hard to lose after having Autumn.  Also my depression has been running rampant lately which has made me tired and out of focus.

 The cause for this weight gain is really not rocket science.  I have been rather sedentary lately and eating whatever and how much I want, mostly cookies and crackers and processed food.  I had thought it wouldn't catch up with me since I am ignorant but the scale (and my tight fat jeans) don't lie.  Unfortunately friends and family members will.  Not to be mean, but because they love me and don't want me to feel bad about myself.  And I know that *right now* I am not "fat" but the facts are that my weight has gone up significantly after staying steady for over a year.

  What do I do about this problem?  I tried doing the exercise video Jillian Michael's The 30 Day Shred that I have used before with good results.  But after 1 week of doing it I came down with a stomach bug and then lost motivation.  I tried eating salads every day for lunch instead of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but that involves both the preparation which takes forever and is very messy, and then I have to chew the damn thing which is painful due to my unfortunate cross bite which makes my jaws ache after long periods of time.  I can barely chew gum.  So what can I do??  I thought of the Joe Cross movie.

Whenever I have mentioned the word "juicer" it has brought out very strong opinions from both sides.  You are either passionate about juicing or you think its the biggest waste of time/money/breath stupidest thing you have ever heard etc etc.  Yes they can be expensive.  OR you can find one that someone used once and got too lazy or grossed out to use again for very little money.  Yes, healthy food like fruits and veggies are expensive, but so is open heart surgery and diabetes.  And yes, it takes time to prepare food.  ANY kind of food.  Trust me I am the queen of eating cereal for dinner.



After really going back and forth about this whole topic in my mind for many months I finally decided to talk to my husband.  Why not, can't hurt right?  Luckily I have a husband who is pretty much on board with anything I want to do within reason.  And he'll consume just about anything including juiced vegetables.  I showed him a Breville Juice Fountain Compact on Amazon that cost well under a hundred dollars and said, "How about we get this and consider it our Christmas gift to each other?"
He went for it!  We ordered it right then and got it this past Saturday.  I ran out to Price Chopper that night (mistake #1) and loaded up on produce.  FYI:  Price Chopper restocks their produce on Sundays so the stuff that is there on Saturday evening is CRAP.

When I got home each of us (my son and older daughter) picked and made our own juices.  Each of us was surprised at how not bad it tasted.  My daughter was the only one who didn't end up finishing hers because it was too sweet.

The next day I decided to make myself a fake V8.  I do love V8 juice and wanted to try to replicate it.  I found a recipe on the internet and made it.

There is no way in Hell I would ever eat all this in one day.  Or even one month!

WAY too much beet.  Way too much juice in general!  It must have been for 3 people!  I am not experienced enough to know how much juice all those veggies can make!

It was quite gross so I added a pinch of Lawry's seasoned salt and some Mrs. Dash Tomato Basil and choked it down.  Way too much money invested in that glass of juice!  Not about to waste it.

Next I made a fruit juice containing a jumbo red grapefruit, 2 oranges, half a lemon (organic with skin on), and a third of a lime.

YUM

Even though it was quite bitter I really enjoyed it and drank it all.  In the morning I made a Carrot Orange Ginger juice.  DELICIOUS.  And next I made a pared down version of the V8 recipe with half of the ingredients and I peeled the beet this time.  MUCH better.  At dinner we sat down to spaghetti and I took a couple of bites and had this thought:  "I wish I could just have a veggie juice."

WHAT.

Did that come out of MY brain???  OK something is happening here.

After eating only half of my spaghetti I went and made another citrus drink for dessert.  Wow.  I haven't felt like eating starchy sugary crap for three days now.  However I have had McDonald's for lunch the past two days just due to circumstance!

Now to answer the biggest FAQ:
No, it does not give me massive diarrhea.  The beauty is that for a person like me who has IBS it is ideal because there is no insoluble fiber in this juice!  Insoluble fiber is one trigger for me and another reason I shy away from veggies.  I am, however, adding Benefiber (odorless, tasteless, soluble fiber powder) to my veggie drinks so I'm not missing out, plus I eat 2 pieces of whole grain toast with real butter and peanut butter on them so I get fat for the little vitamins to ride around on!

Burlington Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony

I should probably write about Thanksgiving, but seeing as I had a stomach bug or something I didn't figure it would make for great writing material (unless you go to that website I stumbled on when googling "why does my son plug the toilet every time?") so I figured I'd write about something a little less TMI.

Last week I heard mention of the tree lighting ceremony that takes place in downtown Burlington every year the day after Thanksgiving.  I made a mental note (always futile) to go this time since I have never been.  Fast forward through the unpleasantness of the illness, coupled with the overwhelming of the holiday and my distraction of watching every Black Friday iPhone video out there of something resembling large amounts of cattle being herded into a barn way too small and then fighting over the last bit of hay and, well, I forgot.  Until 15 minutes before we should be there, that is.

We decided to go on a walk around town since it was 57 degrees out (with 40mph gusts of wind but whatev) and I had been laying in bed for far too long.  Autumn just wanted Daddy to hold her.

Daddy tried to put her down...

Daddy said "No liefe you can walk a bit"

When we had just gotten back from a walk and had kind of settled into the couch it dawned on me.  I jumped up, looked up the time for the lighting, and we jumped in the car (much to Autumn's dismay as she was watching Shawn the Sheep) and headed out.  We found parking right off as the college students are all gone and I grabbed my big heavy tripod and pretended I had a bunch of self confidence as I marched with it through the huge crowd of screaming kids and parents.  We got to the front of where the tree ceremony was and for some reason WPTZ thought it was a good idea to park their mobile news van with it's cherry picker on top smack dab in front of the right side of the pavilion.  If they had backed up or moved it to the right, or better yet NOT PARKED THERE AT ALL there would have been a ton more space for PEOPLE to stand!  I mean, what is the point of having a FAMILY festival if huge amounts of prime square footage are taken up by the news van?  Is this festival really that newsworthy that you have to ruin it for the actual spectators so the people at home who didn't put effort into coming out can watch 10 seconds of footage or less about it and then forget it even happened?  There was also this pavilion which was quite large and planted directly in front of the tree so you could really only see the top half of the tree itself.  I would have stayed and watched the show, but between the news van thingy and the other obstacles that are posted around that part of Church Street, I said no way.

Around back of the tree where we ended up.  The guy in the pic is I assume one of the news videographers.

I decided that we should go to the other side of the tree where you can't see the show but the entire tree was in full view.  We walked over to that side and of course there was another big ol' white van parked there, but way fewer people and we were able to comfortably stand there (I with my tripod ready and waiting) and not feel crushed.  I really am not sad that I missed Shumlin's "Eff You Irene" speech (I think I already heard it at Tunbridge Fair), or the caroling, or the Christmas story that doesn't tell the actual story of Christmas at all, or the Santa Claus that would have scared the crap out of Autumn.  I purely wanted to see big, gaudy, colorful TREE.

We stood for about 30 minutes in the slanting rain and thankfully warmish winds waiting for 6:02pm SHARP for the tree to be lit.  They did a countdown and on 2 I whipped my sweatshirt off of my camera and clicked.  Unfortunately right at that moment I must have moved my camera forward too far and my initial shots came out slightly out of focus.

First shot as the tree lit up.  I had Manual Focus on because it was so dark before the lights were turned on.

This one is a little better because I turned Auto Focus back on.

I wasn't satisfied so we crossed the street to the I think Unitarian (Episcopalian?  Universalist?  I have no idea) Church yard which is slightly elevated and I took these shots:

We went to the Lake Champlain Chocolate outlet store and got Peppermint Hot Cocoa and then went over to the mall to use the bathrooms and sit down to drink our treats.

 Autumn was being really good, but did get a little antsy toward the end.

She was so tired though and was running on donut holes and Swedish Fish.  Mom of the Year award goes to me again.

Sitting in Daddy's "nest"

Then because I've always wanted to get pics of Church Street Christmas lights at night when the street was wet and reflective I started going to different points and taking pictures.

My favorite pic

the news van behemoth

random kids noticing the tree

 Not really as good an outcome as I had hoped because they were taking their sweet time taking everything down and the news van was still squatting in the street like a giant sheep.  Yes I've been watching too much British claymation farm animal shows.  I'll be going back another night when there is less going on and its later in the night so I can really set up how I want to.