Beetle Betsy

Normally I look forward to the summer months as I am an avid insect watcher/lover/photographer.  But this summer, which has been incredibly rainy and then was incredibly hot, seems to have been favorable for a particular species of beetle called an Oriental Beetle.  Not to be confused with the Japanese Beetle, this insect does not seem to harm foliage at all in its adult stage, but the larvae (white grubs) that it produces will chew the crap out of the roots of your grass, garden vegetables and ornamental flowers.

Japanese Beetle

Oriental Beetle

This is the first year that I have my own small garden outside my house.  I tried one last year at my parents' house but it is a 20 minute drive there and over 100 ft from the water source so it was difficult to properly tend to it.  Plus they don't have beetles there so much as they have horrible head buzzers, horse flies, deer flies, mosquitoes...not much fun.  I don't have those at my house.  My husband built me a beautiful raised bed and I planted some stuff in it.

I'm not quite sure what as I didn't pay much attention, but I'm fairly sure it is mostly cucumbers, parsley, a tomato plant, and cosmos.  As an added bonus I have a buttload of sunflowers growing in the back that the birds planted.

I first noticed that there was an excessive amount of beetles a few weeks ago.  I would walk outside and get attacked by them.  They do not bite or sting but will clumsily fly around your head and land in your hair or on your clothes and with their pokey little feet they are hard to get off.  If they land on your skin you will feel it but it does not hurt.  However it scares the crap out of my girls when one lands on them.  I decided to git-r-done.

I first went to Aubuchon.  They only had Japanese beetle traps, but I was desperate so I bought one in hopes it would trap both kinds.  I set it up and watched as Japanese beetles came from no where and fell in.

Japanese beetle trap

Japanese beetle on my flowers, right downwind of the trap and not seeming to care...after 2 rain storms it seems to have lost some of its potency.

  I previously had not seen any of those so it obviously is a strong attractant!  None of the Oriental beetles seemed to be able to make it into the bag though.

Next I tried Ace, then Lowe's, then Home Depot.  No one had anything for these Oriental beetles.  I called up the local agricultural store, L.D. Oliver Seed Company, and they had had them but were sold out and weren't going to get more until Friday.  It was Wednesday and I was really wanting to get these buggers gone before they decided to lay eggs all over the yard.  I bought a bottle of Bayer Grub Control and sprayed that on my garden dirt and on the lawn around it.

Friday came and I went to the Oliver Seed Company.  I was happy to see that they did indeed have the traps for this kind of beetle and happily paid my $9.95 for one.  The boy behind the counter said this was the first year they had carried these traps and they were selling fast.  I took it home and assembled it in the car.  I opened the door to the car and got the pheremone disk out, opened the bag, and put it on the trap structure.

Here is a short, crappy video I took:


BZZZZZT  BZZZZT BZZZZZZZZZZT

That was the sound I heard in my ears.  I looked around and these beetles were coming from every corner of my lawn and swarming around me and the bag.  As I held it beetles were falling into it.  I hadn't even put it on the hanger yet.  I set it down on the ground and tried to assemble the metal hanger (sold separately for $4.95) but the damn metal sleeves that hold the metal rods were too tight.  Cheap thing.  So I had to take it inside and shove a screwdriver into them and wrench them apart and then hammer the rods into the sleeves.  I came back out to a black cloud of beetles around the pheremone.  I picked it up, beetles clinging to my arms and hair and clothes, and pushed it all into the ground.  Instantly there was an inch deep of beetles inside the bag.

Assembled, and already attracting.  The round thing at the top is the pheremone.

  

In 1 minute this is how many there were inside...

I ran back to my car and drove to my parents' house where I was going to spend some of the 100°F afternoon in their air conditioning.  A wind was picking up which was blowing hot air around and it was miserably humid.  About 5 minutes down the road my A/C in my car quit on me.  It made a nasty burning plastic smell and then the compressor stopped working.  Dammit.  I shut it off and rolled down the windows.  My poor Autumn was in the back crying for alternate reasons. First she was too hot, then the wind was blowing her hair into her eyes and mouth and she wanted the windows up, then she was too hot again.  Poor thing eventually went to sleep.

When I left my parents' house 2 hours later and made it back home I was dismayed to see the beetle trap had fallen over in the wind.  The cheesy metal stand had come apart and there was a mass of horned up beetles writhing in one spot.

Spilled Beetles

 I had a horrible thought that perhaps I had just turned these beetles on and they would escape, fertilized and ready to lay eggs, making the matters worse than if I had left them alone in the first place.  I began plucking beetles from the ground and plopping them back in the trap.  But there were so many it would have taken me hours and it was so very hot outside.

That was yesterday.  It rained very hard last night and was insanely windy but the beetle trap stood up to it all and was still standing today.  I went out to check out how much was in there (at this point its actually FUN for me to be doing this.  I need a job.) and as I approached the bag I could hear scritch scratch scritch scratch sounds.  There was a good 2" or more deep pile of beetles in there.  Wow.

And the ground was still moving with more crawling in that direction.  I saw one actually fly and make it out of the bag so I realized that I should probably dump them out so that the pile can start over.  I got a gallon size ZipLoc bag.  The bottom of this trap has a handy zipper lock also so that you can dump it out and reuse it, unlike the Japanese beetle trap pictured earlier in this long post which you have to buy replacement bags.  I placed the open ziploc bag over the bottom of the trap and managed to unzip the trap enough for the beetles to start spilling out.  Yuck.  This is how many I got:

Most of what was in the bag

They are mostly still alive too.  Hopefully not for long.  I zipped the trap bag back up and set it straight again.  Then it rained really hard.  The sun came back out and when I checked on the trap (an hourly process for me at this point:  checking and plucking and tossing in more) there were several beetles flying around it again, more in the bottom, and more crawling up the grass trying to get in.  

I'm both interested to see how many more I catch by the end of the day, and horrified that there are so many of these pests in my yard!  I think I will go buy 2 or 3 more traps and set them around the perimeter of our condo property.  Then I get to check on and empty even more bags!  LOL!  Check out that Oliver Seed Co. if you are in Milton.  I had never been in there before but they seem to have good prices and all sorts of stuff for farming and gardening and they are always having a sale on something!

Ouchy Wah Wah

Here it is, 2:15am, and I am up blogging.   I am partially writing this blog so I can have a reminder to not be an idiot.

This is because something has given me a condition resembling a UTI but I'm pretty sure that its not a real one.  I've been in and out of the bathroom to pee about 30 times this evening and I'm sure I'll be going again in a few minutes.  I am prone to what is called bladder spasms.  I'm pretty sure they are caused by my diet, and I manage to keep them under control for the most part.  However, every now and then, I try something new in my diet and sometimes I have nights like tonight.  This is why I really do try to eat the exact thing every single day, or pick from an imaginary list of things that I know are compatible with my bad self.  I'm pretty sure I will not be sleeping at all tonight, which is going to suck royally tomorrow.

This episode I believe is caused by 3 factors:

Number 1-- I began taking a G.I. Health supplement powder (you mix it in a glass of water) that contains a rather large amount of Zinc (zinc-carnosine).  A very kind person gave it to me because she knows that I have also had trouble with anxiety and IBS symptoms and this supplement has many things that would help someone like me.  Until tonight I never knew...ANYTHING about Zinc except that it is a metal, it is shiny, and we need some to live.  I did not know that if you take more than 40 or 50 mg a day that you can actually poison yourself!  Now, I am sure that the levels in this supplement are within safe ranges for most people, but it does carry a warning for people with kidney issues.  It doesn't say why it can hurt those people, just not to use it.  Perhaps I have kidney issues that I was not aware of.  Anyhow, Google Search "Zinc poisoning symptoms".  It is mind blowing.  There is a class-action lawsuit against denture cream companies because they contain so much Zinc that people are dying from being slowly poisoned over many years!

  The symptoms I have been having in the 5 days of ingesting this supplement are:  

• extreme fatigue (ask my husband/kids.  Mommy is way droopier than usual).
• weakness
• I kept thinking something was wrong with our dishwasher because suddenly whenever a piece of silverware touched my tongue it tasted extremely metallic.  This is apparently a good way to test to see if you have too much of any metal in your blood.  
• headaches in the front of my head
• trouble speaking clearly (now this one is iffy, because I'm often a bumbling fool when speaking, but I was having trouble saying the words that I was thinking and that's a little odd)

I also noticed that I was very dehydrated by the end of the day and found myself doubling my water intake but still being thirsty.  That leads me to my next factor.

Number 2--When I don't drink enough water I easily will fall into a bad bladder spasm episode.  Usually I get a bad feeling when it first starts to happen and I can quickly chug a large glass of water and all will be well with the world.  That only works when its the only thing that is causing the problem.  I've been chugging water all night long and to no avail.  That leads me to the final idiot factor:

Number 3--I drink too much caffeine in one day.  I cannot and will not give up my morning coffee.  And when its chilly out I don't even think about drinking a soda.  But its been hot as hell here the past few days and I get that Diet Coke craving (yes, I know its poison, and probably not helping).  Today I gave in to the craving way too late in the day, around 4pm.  I was thinking it would be ok to have one since I was so incredibly tired that maybe it would help me stay awake so I could spend time with Kris after the kids went to bed instead of passing out snoring during Cheers. BAD IDEA.  If I could go back and slap myself...

Wow the whole time I have been typing this blog I have not had to pee.  That is a whole 15 minutes!  

Now, what the heck can I do about it?  I need to sleep!!

Everything I read says to drink Cranberry juice.  I knew I had bought some the last time this happened, which turns out to be over a year ago!  That means the juice is no good :(  So I had to dump it.  Really, I didn't want to drink it anyway because every time I do it makes me puke. To me, it tastes like licking a tire on a car that just ran over a skunk.  And I am not a puker.

I scoured the medicine cabinet for unused antibiotics (YES sometimes we don't use them all I admit it!) any kind would do.  Nothing.  I was a good girl and threw out all the old stuff.  I read that if you think you may have ingested too much Zinc you should drink milk.  So I did, and had an Oikos yogurt for good measure.  Then I decided because I am starting to get more and more pain that I would take 600mg of Ibuprofen.  So far I think that is the only thing that has actually helped.  If this is still going on in the morning I will of course see the doctor.  But true to form it has to happen in the middle of the ever-loving night when there is NOTHING I can do short of going to the ER, which is the last thing I want to waste their time on.  If I could hold it long enough I'd drive to the 24 hr grocery store three towns away and get some skunk juice.

Also see, Cystitis.  I have 6 out of 8 of those symptoms, but again it can be caused by diet.  Either way I see a trip to the Doctor's office tomorrow :(

Burn It Down

Today started out pretty good.  I woke up with enough time to shower (ok so Autumn's door was stuck shut from the humidity so she couldn't get out...) and actually ate breakfast before I had to leave to pick up a child that I was transporting from S. Burlington to Milton, plus I had a coffee and it was kind of nice out!  Upon my return home I got the dishes done, the floor swept, the living room cleaned up, all sorts of stuff.  Then Autumn said, with those big blue eyes, "Mommy I want pah-corn" and I was in such a good mood I said "Ok honey, if I can find some I will make you some."

What it looks like when properly cooked

Well, I found 2 bags of the kind that come in the bags that have the red cellophane on them so that you can use the bag as a bowl.  I have cooked them a couple of times before with no problem, usually taking 2 min and 15 seconds or a little more.

So trying to think ahead I set it for 3 minutes and figured I'd just stop it when it was done.  I started it and when it had just started to pop at about 45 seconds in my phone rang.  It was Alicia calling me from New York where she was camping with her Dad and brother.  Then as I was trying to understand what she was saying, Autumn started asking me questions about something.  I tried to ignore her but she is very persistent. So I'm talking on the phone to one kid and trying to figure out what the other kid is doing, and meanwhile the time on the popcorn has reached 2 min and 45 seconds.  I smell something funny.  Oh crap I burned the popcorn, wasn't the first time and wouldn't be the last.

Except that there was something a little different about this time.  I was somewhat far away from the microwave when I realized that it was burning so it took me a few crucial seconds to get to the Off button.  Thick yellow smoke was pouring out of the edges of the microwave.  I opened the door stupidly and a billow of smoke hit me in the face with one of the nastiest smells I have smelled with my smeller.  Burning plastic and burning corn kernels.  Barf.  I immediately threw the door shut and stared at the smoke curling up towards the ceiling.  Crap.  It was heading straight for the smoke detector!!!  Well that sucker didn't even go off with smoke tickling it's sensors.  Great.  That's comforting.  I had Autumn go upstairs (wrong way, should have put her outside or the basement I know) and threw the cats into the basement and shut the door.  Then I opened every door and window and turned on all the fans I could.  My throat started to burn and my eyes started to water.  Suddenly I understood how people could easily be overcome by smoke, thinking there was no fire in the immediate area so they were safe, but sadly wrong.  Scared the crap out of me.

Luckily I was smart enough to have shut that microwave door because I cut off the oxygen and the smoke eventually dissipated, however leaving a horrible raunchy smell.  Not enough Febreze in the world.  The inside of the microwave is now a permanent shade of piss yellow and everytime I open it I get hit in the face with that awful smelly smell.  My house still has the odor of it as well.  I think I need to scrub the entire kitchen floor to ceiling to get the freaking burning movie butter stench residue off!

Can you see the drip stains from the burning butter? LOL

Meanwhile, upstairs, I went to check on Autumn.  She had shut her door to her bedroom and was hiding in the closet!  I came in and she said, "Mommy I scared of fire!"  (Note:  there were no actual flames that I could see, but I think that a few seconds more and there would have been)  Poor kid.  She came back downstairs and I put PBS Kids on for her while I scrubbed the inside of the microwave out.

"Mommy, where my pah-corn??" I hear her sweet little midget voice say.

I looked at the last bag of popcorn sitting on the counter.  Dare I try?  Ah, what the heck.  I threw it in and watched it that time and it came out fine.  But it still stinks in there.

Ain't That a Pisser, or The Truth About Cats.

See how innocent I am??

I have been home for over a week now. At the end of my time in NC my husband had called me to tell me that the kitten we have had for 2 months now had peed on the counter and the kitchen table, and also the curtain that I had just installed from a nerve-wracking trip to Walmart a week before.

"We have one curtain that is shorter than the other one." he told me when I asked if he had washed it.

Ok, fine. I can deal with that. I can always get a new curtain, right? But when he told me about the table and the counter I had had enough. I really like this kitten as he is quirky and sweet and curls up at my feet wherever I plant my fat butt. Even the bathroom. Ok so you didn't need to know that. ANYWHOOO...

I immediately went online from my sister's house and put him in the paper. I had gotten rid of the cat before him (Fluffy #1) after dealing with him pissing all over my house for the better part of three years, spending tons of money and time and anguish on trying to make it stop. I couldn't believe my bad luck was continuing with this little guy.

When I got home I also listed him on Craigslist and Facebook. I assumed that because of my older male cat that the younger one was getting territorial and that as I had had him tested for UTI's that he would be fine somewhere else, even outSIDE!! Thoughts of how I could remove him from my house intensified when the next day there was pee on my counter that ruined several pieces of mail and narrowly missed Kris' camera (just ruined the strap).

Perhaps you have been in my house (poor you) and know that my counter top is a landing space for anything, everything, and whatever is in between. There are cameras, sunglasses, mail, endless amounts of children's artwork, toys, photos, frames, sculptures, books, Bibles, pens, pencils, ETC I COULD GO ON FOR DAYS.

Well on Monday my Dad came over to visit. He's always giving me a hard time about the counter and associated areas, and I try my best but when no one helps I just give up. I'm not a go-getter when it comes to trying to clean up after everyone else. He wanted to use my nice camera to take a photo of something. It was sitting on the counter (of course) and when I picked it up I noticed something dripping from it.

NO.

My heart stopped briefly. I really couldn't believe it. I was speechless. Well, for a minute.

Then I was not so speechless.

"STUPID EFFING CAT I AM GOING TO KILL HIM OH MY $*&($*% WHY THE EFF WOULD HE DO THAT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGH" I said. My Dad ducked.

If that wasn't bad enough I had also chosen that particular piece of counter to set Autumn's precious blankie on while I was feeding her.

I stormed across the street and went into the Show Me The Biscuit store to get some Nature's Miracle. That crap is expensive. I asked the lady if she knew of anything I could do and she just kind of looked at me and went "I-uh-no" and I burst into tears. I paid, and stormed back home. I cleaned my camera as best as I could and it still stank. I soaked Autumn's blankie in a pail with Nature's Miracle and some hot water. Thank GOD that took it out.

But my camera, not so much. On the bottom of this camera is where the battery compartment is located. Also there are several tiny screws and of course the cavernous screw mount with all of its little ridges and gaps to hide the dreaded pee crystals. And there is a bit of rubber that stops up the ports for the coax cables and USB cable. Nothing gets piss out of rubber. Nothing. I cleaned it all several times, and even sat it gently in a tray of baking soda for a couple of hourse.

It still smells. Now every time I hold my camera up to my face I gag.

What about the kitten? Did I make a delicious Chinese Pot Roast that evening for dinner?

WELL LET ME TELL YA SOMETHIN.

He spent the rest of the day in the garage (comfortably of course. I'm not an abuser.) and that night I locked him in the basement with a litter box that I had thoroughly cleaned, some food, and some water. Fluffy 2 remained upstairs. The next morning I came downstairs and went towards the bathroom. I got a whiff of cat pee as I walked past the kitchen table but assumed it was from the litterbox which was nearby.

Then Alicia came downstairs. She went to put her bowl down on the table but I wanted to clear the crap off it first. I picked up a book she had just gotten at the book fair and it was soaked. I took one sniff and came to the horrible realization that it was FLUFFY who had been peeing on those surfaces, not the kitten!!!! No way am I getting rid of him!

Can't hate on this face.

I opened the basement door and let him out. Then I decided to take drastic measures: I CLEANED.

I removed everything from the table and all surfaces of the kitchen. I also had cleaned both litter boxes with Nature's Miracle to make them odorless (it really does work on some surfaces just not my camera). We kept one in the basement and leave the door open a bit. I bleached every surface and have been extremely strict about not letting junk accumulate there. So far we have been pee-free for almost a week!!!

So the kitten can stay. See, we have never actually SEEN him pee on anything (or Fluffy for that matter) we just assumed it was him because it had stopped when Fluffy 1 left. I felt bad for a minute because a few people had answered my ads and I had to tell them sorry he was staying but oh well. I hope that they all find a kitten somewhere else. Lord knows the Humane Society has plenty of cats.