Ain't That a Pisser, or The Truth About Cats.

See how innocent I am??

I have been home for over a week now. At the end of my time in NC my husband had called me to tell me that the kitten we have had for 2 months now had peed on the counter and the kitchen table, and also the curtain that I had just installed from a nerve-wracking trip to Walmart a week before.

"We have one curtain that is shorter than the other one." he told me when I asked if he had washed it.

Ok, fine. I can deal with that. I can always get a new curtain, right? But when he told me about the table and the counter I had had enough. I really like this kitten as he is quirky and sweet and curls up at my feet wherever I plant my fat butt. Even the bathroom. Ok so you didn't need to know that. ANYWHOOO...

I immediately went online from my sister's house and put him in the paper. I had gotten rid of the cat before him (Fluffy #1) after dealing with him pissing all over my house for the better part of three years, spending tons of money and time and anguish on trying to make it stop. I couldn't believe my bad luck was continuing with this little guy.

When I got home I also listed him on Craigslist and Facebook. I assumed that because of my older male cat that the younger one was getting territorial and that as I had had him tested for UTI's that he would be fine somewhere else, even outSIDE!! Thoughts of how I could remove him from my house intensified when the next day there was pee on my counter that ruined several pieces of mail and narrowly missed Kris' camera (just ruined the strap).

Perhaps you have been in my house (poor you) and know that my counter top is a landing space for anything, everything, and whatever is in between. There are cameras, sunglasses, mail, endless amounts of children's artwork, toys, photos, frames, sculptures, books, Bibles, pens, pencils, ETC I COULD GO ON FOR DAYS.

Well on Monday my Dad came over to visit. He's always giving me a hard time about the counter and associated areas, and I try my best but when no one helps I just give up. I'm not a go-getter when it comes to trying to clean up after everyone else. He wanted to use my nice camera to take a photo of something. It was sitting on the counter (of course) and when I picked it up I noticed something dripping from it.

NO.

My heart stopped briefly. I really couldn't believe it. I was speechless. Well, for a minute.

Then I was not so speechless.

"STUPID EFFING CAT I AM GOING TO KILL HIM OH MY $*&($*% WHY THE EFF WOULD HE DO THAT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGH" I said. My Dad ducked.

If that wasn't bad enough I had also chosen that particular piece of counter to set Autumn's precious blankie on while I was feeding her.

I stormed across the street and went into the Show Me The Biscuit store to get some Nature's Miracle. That crap is expensive. I asked the lady if she knew of anything I could do and she just kind of looked at me and went "I-uh-no" and I burst into tears. I paid, and stormed back home. I cleaned my camera as best as I could and it still stank. I soaked Autumn's blankie in a pail with Nature's Miracle and some hot water. Thank GOD that took it out.

But my camera, not so much. On the bottom of this camera is where the battery compartment is located. Also there are several tiny screws and of course the cavernous screw mount with all of its little ridges and gaps to hide the dreaded pee crystals. And there is a bit of rubber that stops up the ports for the coax cables and USB cable. Nothing gets piss out of rubber. Nothing. I cleaned it all several times, and even sat it gently in a tray of baking soda for a couple of hourse.

It still smells. Now every time I hold my camera up to my face I gag.

What about the kitten? Did I make a delicious Chinese Pot Roast that evening for dinner?

WELL LET ME TELL YA SOMETHIN.

He spent the rest of the day in the garage (comfortably of course. I'm not an abuser.) and that night I locked him in the basement with a litter box that I had thoroughly cleaned, some food, and some water. Fluffy 2 remained upstairs. The next morning I came downstairs and went towards the bathroom. I got a whiff of cat pee as I walked past the kitchen table but assumed it was from the litterbox which was nearby.

Then Alicia came downstairs. She went to put her bowl down on the table but I wanted to clear the crap off it first. I picked up a book she had just gotten at the book fair and it was soaked. I took one sniff and came to the horrible realization that it was FLUFFY who had been peeing on those surfaces, not the kitten!!!! No way am I getting rid of him!

Can't hate on this face.

I opened the basement door and let him out. Then I decided to take drastic measures: I CLEANED.

I removed everything from the table and all surfaces of the kitchen. I also had cleaned both litter boxes with Nature's Miracle to make them odorless (it really does work on some surfaces just not my camera). We kept one in the basement and leave the door open a bit. I bleached every surface and have been extremely strict about not letting junk accumulate there. So far we have been pee-free for almost a week!!!

So the kitten can stay. See, we have never actually SEEN him pee on anything (or Fluffy for that matter) we just assumed it was him because it had stopped when Fluffy 1 left. I felt bad for a minute because a few people had answered my ads and I had to tell them sorry he was staying but oh well. I hope that they all find a kitten somewhere else. Lord knows the Humane Society has plenty of cats.