The Ten Things You Aren't Cleaning in Your Bathroom (or maybe you are...and its just me)

I have set for myself a Housecleaning Itinerary for Good Housewives (or H.I.G.H....cause that's how I feel after inhaling that much Windex, Scrubbing Bubbles, and Lysol) utilizing my iPod Touch's calendar thingy. Monday I clean bathrooms. Or at least 1 out of the 3 if I'm having a slow day. This week I took on the "guest" bathroom which is just a sink vanity and toilet. How dirty can it get? Its the size of a small broom closet after all. Right past it is my laundry room: the generator of the Everlasting Lint Ball. You would really think in the 70 or so years that the modern clothes dryer has been around someone would have solved the lint trap problem. Everytime I take that sucker out its like New Year's Eve at midnight in Times Square.

Okay let's move on to the topic at hand. I realized that if I really got down on the floor in this bathroom in the sunlight a lot was revealed to me. Namely, a lot of pee. Now, I don't know how many men you have in your house, but when it comes to who peed on the toilet at such an angle that it made its way down into the fancy artistic part in the back the general consensus is : Alicia. I mean, it HAS to be her. Autumn is in diapers, I'm a big girl and make sure I don't drip, and both Kris and Alex claim "Not me" so that only leaves one suspect. Poor little scapegoat Alicia.

Yeah, I accidentally hit the "add watermark" button to this export and was too lazy to redo it.

As soon as I had finished gagging my way through cleaning that off (thankfully for you I took the pics AFTER it was cleaned!) I decided to see what else had been ignored, neglected, and otherwise thoroughly UNcleaned. That counts as number 1 by the way. :)

Number 2: Do you have these "vanity" lights in your bathroom?

I do. I have 4 downstairs and 16 upstairs. That's 20 of these bad boys for you math whizzes. See that dark patch at the top? That my dears, is DIRT. When they are on they are so bright you can't see it, and when they are off, who cares!?! But they are glass, uncovered, and supply the best light in the bathroom. Hell I think I'll just let this one get dirtier then maybe I won't flinch every time I walk past a mirror! JUST KIDDING!!

Number 3: Do you have these lovely standard model white doors in your home?

Ah, the modern stylings of the "shadowbox" door as I like to call them. Well when they start to get like this:

I'd be happy to go back to the Flintstone's boulder slab! These things are the biggest pain in the hee-haw to clean!! Especially if you are like me and only painted halfway down and then got distracted by something shiny 5 years ago and never came back!!! ACK!! Guess I have a few spring projects coming up, eh?!?

Number 4: one of the things everybody touches! Now, you may think I'm talking doorknobs, but no I expect you to clean that while you are gouging out your eyeballs on the door. I'm talking higher.

I wish I had taken a "before" pic of this. I had to first Windex it and then use a Magic Eraser (TM and all) to get the weird grayish splattery stuff off it. And this is something I wipe down regularly. I just never really took the time to actually look at it. As you can see I still need to take a nail file or some other pointy object and dig out the edges and screws. Yah, kids, wash your hands after you use the light switch! Oy vey.

Number 5 is something that I can almost guarantee you have not cleaned in a very long time unless you had a prophetic dream with an angel telling you that it existed. When I cleaned mine a large plume of volcanic ash hit me square in the nose. I put a mask on after I did the first one...

Moulding! Or Molding. Depends on if you are from England or New England. I have always cleaned the wide part that you can reach without a chair, but never have I ventured to the tops of Mt Killmenow and been spewed on like this. Oh and my fake plants are probably another thing I should be cleaning but I didn't take any pictures so I'm just going to pretend they are real plants and they clean themselves.

Number 6 for me is the paper towel roll holder! Ahh, pristine white plastic with tiny little divots all over it that clutch the half dirty water that flies off of people's hands as they grasp the paper towel. Yes I see the glass as half empty in this case!

The only thing that gets that dirt out all the way is the dang Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. That thing is seriously MAGIC. It doesn't seem to have anything going for it except whatever freak side effect of some NASA experiment that accidentally polished the floors created! I use it on any of this "textured" plastic such as the refrigerator and freezer handles, kid's toys, and now the paper towel roll holder. Magic I tell you!!

Number 7 is slightly related to number 5 except for this you need to get down on the floor. I live on a plot of land that was desperately trying to look fertile when we moved in but really just gave up and became the dusty desert that it is today. Hence why I do not garden. But in the summer time during the day I leave the windows open rain or shine and when the wind blows or cars go by or a butterfly flaps it's wings sand and dust come floating on in. Apparently it enjoys settling on all of my moulding. The piece in the following picture is from the bottom of the bathroom door which is very near my sliding glass door. I vacuum this moulding all the time but never really look at it.

YUMMY!!! O000h and look I think I actually painted this piece! Magic Eraser works on this also.

Number 8 is a place I know I would rather forget: behind the sink faucet!

Mildew is one thing that grosses me out. I can watch mutilated dead bodies till the cows come home on CSI or Bones but slimy mildew? That's just plain nasty. For you I used the after picture. The before was not something I wanted to look at. That angle just isn't obvious until you get up on the toilet and look down!

Number 9 is the decorative finials on the end of curtain rods!

They are so pretty from down here. But as the top of the toilet was my lookout I noticed my amber acrylic fobs were looking a little tan! A quick wipedown with Windex Multi-Surface (antibacterial of course, and no I'm not plugging I really use this stuff, its heaven!) and they are sparkling fake jewels again!

Number 10 is probably the catcher for many foul balls. Pause. So as I had my head behind the toilet cleaning up the golden drizzle I turned to breath and noticed that the side of my vanity cabinet had these white high velocity spatter patterns on them (yeah I know, too much CSI!!). For these I have not found a cleaner that will remove them completely or even mostly. If I do you will be sure I will post it! I was only able to get peace of mind that they are now completely sanitary and disinfected even if they still have to exist. I don't know what those children are drinking but it quite effectively stains finished wood!

Well I hope you enjoyed my list. I plan to tackle the laundry room next. It looks clean at first glance but then again, so did this tiny little bathroom. I'd do the kids bathroom but my hazmat suit is at the cleaner's.

Have fun getting H.I.G.H.!

Hello, Beautiful.

The Bissell. With TurboBrush. Bed Bath & Beyond had them for $170, Costco had them for $85. This is what Kris' hard earned money is buying and wow does our carpet look amazing.

The answer to a dirty white kitchen floor: Mr. Clean Magic Eraser Mop (right) and Mr. Clean "Classic" Squeezy Mop. Both under $15 each.

A Befloor and After:

Bliss. Now if only everyone would go away so it would stay like this HAHA

The Cinderella Secret Workout #1 -- Abs

Today was a day that I had to mop. I hate mopping. Well, I don't hate the act itself, but I hate that as soon as it is done it needs to be done again!!! Mopping is also a 4 or 5 step process in my house with the three kids and 2 cats and all. Its sweep, vacuum, sweep, vacuum, and then if I'm not distracted by something shiny then the actual wet mop soaked in disinfectant happens.

Today is my 18th day of using the Wii Fit Plus system that I got for Christmas. Shockingly it has actually helped me out. I haven't lost any weight (I actually think I gained about 4 lb LOL) but it has done what expensive physical therapy would have done. It has helped me strengthen my puny muscles enough so that I am actually able to bend at the knee without having to pop a Vicodin. I hate taking pain meds so I am all for whatever else works. Using it also gives me energy and makes me want to do more since it doesn't hurt.

I have been avoiding that damn mop for several days now and spot cleaning instead and spraying Lysol on the floor figuring I'd "Do It Later" or DIL. I'm a wicked DIL'er. I remember a book in the Serendipity series (remember those?) about a girl who put off today and didn't do it tomorrow either and really identifying with her. And however many years later I am still that girl. But every so often I drink a coffee at 1:00pm and get all revved up and go to town on something. Today it was the kitchen. I put my latest acquisition of Third Day into the CD player that I have in my kitchen and cranked it, gave Autumn a buttload of goldfish crackers and raisins, and proceeded with my sweeping/vaccuming/mopping.

You may wonder where I'm going with this or if I've forgotten myself. Me too. Oh yeah EXERCISE!!! LOL There wasn't a Serendipity book about a girl with an attention span of a moth, but there should have been.

So my breaking point is that Autumn had dumped an entire box of Life cereal on the floor and I just had had enough filth. I put her highchair on the other side of the gate and got that floor nice and shiny. When I mop I use a crappy squeezy sponge mop thingy that probably needs a replacement head but I'm too cheap to pay $8 for a freaking long sponge so I keep lysoling the end of it. It doesn't do a very good job of spreading the water thin enough so that it dries quickly and I'm usually locked out of the kitchen for a good hour waiting for it to be walkable. Today I had a new idea that is useful too and makes me want to mop the kitchen every day.

You will need:

3 pack of Microfiber cloths (sold in the car accessory aisle at the Dollar General for $5)

A wet floor

No shame

Now here is my super duper ab work out that gives you the same result as the $19.99 as seen on TV AbRoller!!

Get down on your hands and knees gripping one of the Microfiber cloths (in your hands!).

Place both hands on the cloth on the floor in front of you. Start sliding away from your lower body but keep your knees in place. Pull back in without lifting your hands off the floor. Repeat, pivoting in every direction you can reach. When that section of floor is dry, move on to the next one. When that cloth is soaked grab another one and KEEP GOING!!!! This exercise works your abs, shoulders, back, and procrastinate muscles.

Trouble following the instructions? Here is a snapshot of me doing this exercise, give or take 100ish pounds:

I look hot in this picture don't I??? Give it a shot I promise you will feel the burn ;)

And now I'm off to find all the Serendipity books on Amazon. Wait, what?

I Know I Said I Wanted To Go Hiking.....

...but this is ridiculous!!!

Laundry to do

Can't this crap fold itself???

Seems like everything is happening in mountains today. Mountains of laundry, mountains of dishes, mountains of kleenex on the floor from my damn recurring headcold. Luckily I have this cute baby who keeps smiling at me non-stop and makes it all go away:

Shine a Light on Me...or actually no don't please I can't take it

Today's fun is consisting of me wrassling dust bunnies between Etsy listings. I put my freaking adorable baby in the bouncy chair and turned on PBS so I could try to get something done.

My motivation today: its sunny out and I can see every speck of dirt and wisp of hair on the white (white? what were they thinking??) kitchen floor. I really hate sunny winter days. I think the sun reflects on the snow and highlights the worst in everything. Every pore, zit, wrinkle, dustball, and streak of mud is like GLOWING right now. I don't look up when I pass a mirror. I did manage a shower yesterday, that was cool.

I am currently trying to get State help for food, fuel, and health care. We currently lack in the insurance department as I may have mentioned, and I didn't win the damn lottery, so I'm going the more sane route. Well, it seemed sane at the time. Apparently the State of Vermont gets an extra 1 MILLION DOLLARS if they make sure they cross their "t's" and dot their "i's" according the extremely nice customer service lady I talked to.

If you are looking for the Vermont Department of Children and Families (DCF) Website click HERE!

Here is some advice for any Vermonter applying for this same help:

• If you are DOWNLOADING AND PRINTING this application from the web, make sure you call and get a form called "Termination of Employment". This is not found on the web that I can see. The number to call is 1-800-479-6151. They will not process your application if you are in this situation without it.
• Another thing they needed was a "Mortgage Bill". This is basically a statement from your lender stating your monthly payment. You know, that thing they send you every month telling you what exorbitant amount you have to pay to keep your house. I escrow my taxes and they will want to know this also (I believe there is a place on the main application for this info).
  
• Make sure that if someone in your house is still working that you include the last 30 days worth of paystubs. My husband's are extremely annoying to try to print out as they are electronic but located on a website that has no Print button. The only way to print was to use Internet Explorer (ugh) and use the File>Print in the menu.
  

I hope some of this helps someone. I absolutely hate dealing with this crap but it has to be done.

If you are looking for Vermont Health Insurance Help click HERE!

How Do You Make Ends Meet When What You Have is a Jumbled Mess?

As rewarding as doing housework is (cue laughter from the audience) it doesn't generate a paycheck! That part really sucks!!!!

Things I need to do today:

Clean both the 29 gallon fish tank and the 10 gallon fish tank
Clean all three toilets (whoever installed 3 toilets in a 2 level house didn't explore all the ramifications...)
Make something for dinner (possibly pizza tonight...I got nothin')
Fold 4 loads of laundry
Sweep and Mop the Kitchen floor
Empty dishwasher and fill it up again

That's going to take me like all day and its 12:30, the kids come home at 3:45, I need to go get my afternoon adult conversation fix at my friends house at 2, and ballet lessons for Fluffy #4 are at 5:00pm until 6.

LUCKILY I clean best under pressure!!! I just need to figure out how to put this baby down...

I am also trying to get my Etsy store up and running so I can try to generate a way to pay for some of my smaller monthly bills. I make jewelry (or, used to when I had time and less kids) and I also am an avid photographer. Since photography is a little easier for me to do and I have a ton of great photos stored on my various flash and hard drives I decided to concentrate on that.

I decided to charge $12 for each 8x10 print, and $5 for shipping/processing. Originally I said that each one will come matted in your choice of black or white. Yeah well little did I know that a mat costs on average $3.50!!!! The print itself costs about $3, and the packaging costs $3. Postage costs around $3 also. Lets do the math: Charging $17, costing $12.50. So I make only $4.50 and that does not count the driving time to pick up the photos or the postage for having them printed and sent to my house!!! I have sold a total of 6, but only charged for 2 mats out of those because I didn't think properly. Thinking properly is one of those things they don't teach you in school.

So this lesson in "Thinking for Dimwits" is: find out how much things cost such as materials, postage, packaging, etc. BEFORE you price any item that you may list. I know this sounds like common sense stuff, but this blog is for people like me who learn from their mistakes, or from reading crap on the internet!!! :) I usually learn things the hard way also.

Etsy.com is a great way to get your handmade items out there but its a game to play just like anything else, and it is HARD work for sure. It doesn't just happen. There are a lot of really talented people out there who are just like you and me, trying to make a living with what we have.

Another great place to make some money is Seed.com I heard about it on one of the national morning news shows (I know I know they are like gossip rags now) and I checked it out. If you are a writer or a photographer you can definitely make some money. Take a look!