The Ten Things You Aren't Cleaning in Your Bathroom (or maybe you are...and its just me)

I have set for myself a Housecleaning Itinerary for Good Housewives (or H.I.G.H....cause that's how I feel after inhaling that much Windex, Scrubbing Bubbles, and Lysol) utilizing my iPod Touch's calendar thingy. Monday I clean bathrooms. Or at least 1 out of the 3 if I'm having a slow day. This week I took on the "guest" bathroom which is just a sink vanity and toilet. How dirty can it get? Its the size of a small broom closet after all. Right past it is my laundry room: the generator of the Everlasting Lint Ball. You would really think in the 70 or so years that the modern clothes dryer has been around someone would have solved the lint trap problem. Everytime I take that sucker out its like New Year's Eve at midnight in Times Square.

Okay let's move on to the topic at hand. I realized that if I really got down on the floor in this bathroom in the sunlight a lot was revealed to me. Namely, a lot of pee. Now, I don't know how many men you have in your house, but when it comes to who peed on the toilet at such an angle that it made its way down into the fancy artistic part in the back the general consensus is : Alicia. I mean, it HAS to be her. Autumn is in diapers, I'm a big girl and make sure I don't drip, and both Kris and Alex claim "Not me" so that only leaves one suspect. Poor little scapegoat Alicia.

Yeah, I accidentally hit the "add watermark" button to this export and was too lazy to redo it.

As soon as I had finished gagging my way through cleaning that off (thankfully for you I took the pics AFTER it was cleaned!) I decided to see what else had been ignored, neglected, and otherwise thoroughly UNcleaned. That counts as number 1 by the way. :)

Number 2: Do you have these "vanity" lights in your bathroom?

I do. I have 4 downstairs and 16 upstairs. That's 20 of these bad boys for you math whizzes. See that dark patch at the top? That my dears, is DIRT. When they are on they are so bright you can't see it, and when they are off, who cares!?! But they are glass, uncovered, and supply the best light in the bathroom. Hell I think I'll just let this one get dirtier then maybe I won't flinch every time I walk past a mirror! JUST KIDDING!!

Number 3: Do you have these lovely standard model white doors in your home?

Ah, the modern stylings of the "shadowbox" door as I like to call them. Well when they start to get like this:

I'd be happy to go back to the Flintstone's boulder slab! These things are the biggest pain in the hee-haw to clean!! Especially if you are like me and only painted halfway down and then got distracted by something shiny 5 years ago and never came back!!! ACK!! Guess I have a few spring projects coming up, eh?!?

Number 4: one of the things everybody touches! Now, you may think I'm talking doorknobs, but no I expect you to clean that while you are gouging out your eyeballs on the door. I'm talking higher.

I wish I had taken a "before" pic of this. I had to first Windex it and then use a Magic Eraser (TM and all) to get the weird grayish splattery stuff off it. And this is something I wipe down regularly. I just never really took the time to actually look at it. As you can see I still need to take a nail file or some other pointy object and dig out the edges and screws. Yah, kids, wash your hands after you use the light switch! Oy vey.

Number 5 is something that I can almost guarantee you have not cleaned in a very long time unless you had a prophetic dream with an angel telling you that it existed. When I cleaned mine a large plume of volcanic ash hit me square in the nose. I put a mask on after I did the first one...

Moulding! Or Molding. Depends on if you are from England or New England. I have always cleaned the wide part that you can reach without a chair, but never have I ventured to the tops of Mt Killmenow and been spewed on like this. Oh and my fake plants are probably another thing I should be cleaning but I didn't take any pictures so I'm just going to pretend they are real plants and they clean themselves.

Number 6 for me is the paper towel roll holder! Ahh, pristine white plastic with tiny little divots all over it that clutch the half dirty water that flies off of people's hands as they grasp the paper towel. Yes I see the glass as half empty in this case!

The only thing that gets that dirt out all the way is the dang Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. That thing is seriously MAGIC. It doesn't seem to have anything going for it except whatever freak side effect of some NASA experiment that accidentally polished the floors created! I use it on any of this "textured" plastic such as the refrigerator and freezer handles, kid's toys, and now the paper towel roll holder. Magic I tell you!!

Number 7 is slightly related to number 5 except for this you need to get down on the floor. I live on a plot of land that was desperately trying to look fertile when we moved in but really just gave up and became the dusty desert that it is today. Hence why I do not garden. But in the summer time during the day I leave the windows open rain or shine and when the wind blows or cars go by or a butterfly flaps it's wings sand and dust come floating on in. Apparently it enjoys settling on all of my moulding. The piece in the following picture is from the bottom of the bathroom door which is very near my sliding glass door. I vacuum this moulding all the time but never really look at it.

YUMMY!!! O000h and look I think I actually painted this piece! Magic Eraser works on this also.

Number 8 is a place I know I would rather forget: behind the sink faucet!

Mildew is one thing that grosses me out. I can watch mutilated dead bodies till the cows come home on CSI or Bones but slimy mildew? That's just plain nasty. For you I used the after picture. The before was not something I wanted to look at. That angle just isn't obvious until you get up on the toilet and look down!

Number 9 is the decorative finials on the end of curtain rods!

They are so pretty from down here. But as the top of the toilet was my lookout I noticed my amber acrylic fobs were looking a little tan! A quick wipedown with Windex Multi-Surface (antibacterial of course, and no I'm not plugging I really use this stuff, its heaven!) and they are sparkling fake jewels again!

Number 10 is probably the catcher for many foul balls. Pause. So as I had my head behind the toilet cleaning up the golden drizzle I turned to breath and noticed that the side of my vanity cabinet had these white high velocity spatter patterns on them (yeah I know, too much CSI!!). For these I have not found a cleaner that will remove them completely or even mostly. If I do you will be sure I will post it! I was only able to get peace of mind that they are now completely sanitary and disinfected even if they still have to exist. I don't know what those children are drinking but it quite effectively stains finished wood!

Well I hope you enjoyed my list. I plan to tackle the laundry room next. It looks clean at first glance but then again, so did this tiny little bathroom. I'd do the kids bathroom but my hazmat suit is at the cleaner's.

Have fun getting H.I.G.H.!