Today started out pretty good. I woke up with enough time to shower (ok so Autumn's door was stuck shut from the humidity so she couldn't get out...) and actually ate breakfast before I had to leave to pick up a child that I was transporting from S. Burlington to Milton, plus I had a coffee and it was kind of nice out! Upon my return home I got the dishes done, the floor swept, the living room cleaned up, all sorts of stuff. Then Autumn said, with those big blue eyes, "Mommy I want pah-corn" and I was in such a good mood I said "Ok honey, if I can find some I will make you some."
What it looks like when properly cooked
Well, I found 2 bags of the kind that come in the bags that have the red cellophane on them so that you can use the bag as a bowl. I have cooked them a couple of times before with no problem, usually taking 2 min and 15 seconds or a little more.
So trying to think ahead I set it for 3 minutes and figured I'd just stop it when it was done. I started it and when it had just started to pop at about 45 seconds in my phone rang. It was Alicia calling me from New York where she was camping with her Dad and brother. Then as I was trying to understand what she was saying, Autumn started asking me questions about something. I tried to ignore her but she is very persistent. So I'm talking on the phone to one kid and trying to figure out what the other kid is doing, and meanwhile the time on the popcorn has reached 2 min and 45 seconds. I smell something funny. Oh crap I burned the popcorn, wasn't the first time and wouldn't be the last.
Except that there was something a little different about this time. I was somewhat far away from the microwave when I realized that it was burning so it took me a few crucial seconds to get to the Off button. Thick yellow smoke was pouring out of the edges of the microwave. I opened the door stupidly and a billow of smoke hit me in the face with one of the nastiest smells I have smelled with my smeller. Burning plastic and burning corn kernels. Barf. I immediately threw the door shut and stared at the smoke curling up towards the ceiling. Crap. It was heading straight for the smoke detector!!! Well that sucker didn't even go off with smoke tickling it's sensors. Great. That's comforting. I had Autumn go upstairs (wrong way, should have put her outside or the basement I know) and threw the cats into the basement and shut the door. Then I opened every door and window and turned on all the fans I could. My throat started to burn and my eyes started to water. Suddenly I understood how people could easily be overcome by smoke, thinking there was no fire in the immediate area so they were safe, but sadly wrong. Scared the crap out of me.
Luckily I was smart enough to have shut that microwave door because I cut off the oxygen and the smoke eventually dissipated, however leaving a horrible raunchy smell. Not enough Febreze in the world. The inside of the microwave is now a permanent shade of piss yellow and everytime I open it I get hit in the face with that awful smelly smell. My house still has the odor of it as well. I think I need to scrub the entire kitchen floor to ceiling to get the freaking burning movie butter stench residue off!
Can you see the drip stains from the burning butter? LOL
Meanwhile, upstairs, I went to check on Autumn. She had shut her door to her bedroom and was hiding in the closet! I came in and she said, "Mommy I scared of fire!" (Note: there were no actual flames that I could see, but I think that a few seconds more and there would have been) Poor kid. She came back downstairs and I put PBS Kids on for her while I scrubbed the inside of the microwave out.
"Mommy, where my pah-corn??" I hear her sweet little midget voice say.
I looked at the last bag of popcorn sitting on the counter. Dare I try? Ah, what the heck. I threw it in and watched it that time and it came out fine. But it still stinks in there.
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