Lemony Chicken Quinoa Dinnery Thing Part 2

OK Dinner is done and eaten! Here is how I would make it if I made it over again (and it was pretty darn tasty so I probably will!):

Same ingredients EXCEPT add 2 cups more of water as that Quinoa sure does soak it up!! Also there is virtually NO salt going on in here. I added Lawry's Seasoned Salt to taste. I think I used about a teaspoon of it or so. Not sure though...just put a bit in and test, then repeat :)

A note about the lemon: The lemon in our opinion tasted GREAT. IF YOU LIKE LEMON!!! It adds a nice tangy aftertaste. You will have to pull out the rinds though as the inside part dissolves and the rinds break apart. No biggie but if you serve it to kids you may want to sift through or find a better way (just put in the inside part maybe?).

I also think that cooking it for less time perhaps would result in more of a soup than a stew. Its very thick if you cook it for 7 hours even on Low. 5 hours would probably do.

I am thinking this would make a GREAT weight loss dinner. Quinoa is the only thing that has real calories in it (ok ok so does the chicken) and it has 162 cal per 1/4 cup dry. I used 1 cup dry in this stew. When you cook it the outer part which is indigestible separates from the inner part and forms a little curly "s". Its extremely filling so you wouldn't need much, and it has a LOAD of good stuff in it:

From Wikipedia

Its protein content is very high (12%–18%), making it a healthy choice for vegetarians and vegans. Unlike wheat or rice (which are low inlysine), quinoa contains a balanced set of essential amino acids for humans, making it an unusually complete protein source.^[4] It is a good source of dietary fiber and phosphorus and is high in magnesium and iron. Quinoa is gluten-free and considered easy to digest.

Caution: I do not know for sure yet, but because of the amount of fiber in this, 7g per half cup, it may cause GAS!!! LOL!!! I didn't think of that till I ate a whole bowl oh boy!! Its gonna be a fun evening!!!

Chicken Quinoa Vegetable Lemon Soup or something...

Finally Cooking Again!

It has been a bit since I have had a chance to write or to even do anything with my blogs and pictures lately. The kids have this insane school vacation and my little darling angel baby has been fussy (teething??? at 4 months?? ugh I am hoping it is just a bad dream...). I also have been slacking majorly in the cooking department which was what was giving me such great material to write about heh heh heh

Well today 2 of the 3 kids are gone overnight so I'm just left with P.O.'d little baby. Poor thing she just wants me to hold her constantly but when I try to nurse her she rips me a new one so I'm not real into that right now. I parked her in the high chair in front of the 55 gallon goldfish tank which seems to be keeping her amused intermittently. She already does this thing where she cries and then looks to see if I'm looking. At 4 months old. Oy. I am in for a ride with this little darling.

I also went on a Costco shopping spree this past Tuesday. For anyone who is using Food Stamps (EBT card) such as myself...YES I FINALLY GOT THEM WOOHOO AND THEY WERE PRORATED!!!.... you must be a member to actually purchase anything on the card there. You can't be a guest. That doesn't bode well for poor folk like myself who have the foodstamps BECAUSE they don't have a lot of extra cash for stuff like a $50 or $100 Costco membership card...

Luckily its Tax Return season so I used that to get this card since diapers and wipes are always better to buy in bulk and I think I will actually use it to my benefit. So hard to throw that money into something like that though let me tell you. *shudder*

My trip to Costco yielded numerous cases of various canned items which I will be dumping into my crack pot over the next few weeks. I also got this ridiculous 10 lb bag of frozen skinless boneless chicken breasts for under $20 that has so much chicken in it I can barely shove it into my freezer. No, I do not have a standalone freezer unfortunately. That is what I would have rather spent that membership money towards, but whatever. I'll make do.

I also purchased a 4 lb bag of Quinoa, the wonder grain. It looks suspiciously like Cecropia Moth eggs...but its supposed to be really great for you and is something I have wanted to use for years but I'm too Scotch to pay $7 for a little bag of it at the health food store. Well Costco has ORGANIC Quinoa 4 lb bags for $8!!! You better believe I bought some!!! Should have bought a couple of bags but I wanted to make sure everyone would eat it first.

Yesterday I made a beef stew with tomato basil soup, diced tomatoes, and red potatoes. Mmm Mmm Good for sure. All stuff I bought at the Big C.

Today I am being a little more adventurous. I decided to make something with all that damn chicken. Well, a couple of pieces ha ha

Betsy Cracker's Chicken Quinoa Vegetable Soup

1 can of chicken broth

1 can of diced tomatoes, drained or strained or hand squeezed, however you prefer!

1 can of sliced carrots, drained

1 can of green beans, drained

1 can of water (or, just don't drain all that other crap!!)

1/2 lemon, sliced

1 stalk of celery, or more if you like celery, chopped

3 shakes of basil

2 frozen chicken breasts

any other veggies you want to throw in!!

Yes, I color coded those ingredients. See there is a rainbow of healthy stuff in this soup!!! :)

I dug in the back of a cupboard and found a STRAINER!!!! YAY!!!

When you use Quinoa, make sure you put it into a fine strainer such as the lovely item in the picture above, and rinse thoroughly in cold water. Mush it around a bit to make sure you get the stuff on the bottom because it is sneaky little grain and seems a bit water resistant!

I put everything in the pot at 10:30am on Low. I plan to take it out around 5:30ish...by 12:00pm the chicken already looked close to done so hopefully you can't really screw it up by leaving it in too long...

I threw the lemon in because I am an artist at heart, and I like the way lemon slices look. Will it taste good? Who knows. The kids aren't eating here tonight so I figured I could be creative...

PS. The baby watching fish tank thing? Yeah that lasted about 5 minutes and now she's nursing. Oooch.

If I Could Turn Back Time...I Would Have Read The Label!!!

I love fish. I love to eat them and I love to watch them. Yum.

A few weeks ago one of my BFF's gave me a 29 gallon tank with a stand that she didn't want anymore. I was over the moon in heaven. I have had a 10 gallon tank with about 8 tropical fish (including a shark that we were sold as a catfish) for over a year now. So when I got this bigger tank I couldn't wait to set it up and let my babies loose in there! The shark had been banging his head on the side of the 10 gallon tank for months as he is a very active fellow who needs lots of room. He actually has a callous on his nose from it! I'm surprised he didn't somehow commit suicide.

Columbian "Catfish" Shark

Within 1 week of being in the new tank the entire bunch of them came down with Ich. Ich is a nasty little protozoa that appears whenever fish are stressed to the point of losing their slime coat. Ew. A bunch of fuzzy white patches appear all over the fish and they start acting like they are on a crack binge. Apparently it feels like a bunch of mosquito bites and is really itchy. Go figure.

I freaked out and ran to the local pet store to ask them what on earth I should do?!?! She said crank the temp and add aquarium salt. Apparently there is aquarium salt and it helps fish even if they are not saltwater. She was nice enough to give me this salt. I did what she said and lo and behold in a couple of weeks the white patches were gone and I only lost 3 fish.

Neon with Neon Tetra Disease

I then lost several neons to Neon Tetra Disease, a nasty little protozoa that comes with the neon when you buy it and bloats the poor little things up and makes them act like they are on a crystal meth binge. Its not pretty. I ended up flushing a live one that was on the brink of dying anyway and felt horrible about it but its very contagious apparently. I love neons so I keep buying more (expensive for what they are). I think once these are gone I will just stop.

You would think that this tank would be the extent of my aquatic adventures. If so then you do not know me very well :)

Randomly someone gave me those large goldfish that I posted about a few days ago. In a 10 gallon tank they just seemed like they were waiting for a nice big home to stretch their fins in. I looked on Craigslist to no avail for days and days. Then on Saturday the 13th I saw an add from a guy who lives somewhat nearby who was selling multiple different sized tank setups. I emailed him with what I was looking for and how much money I could spend. He got right back to me, we dialogued and I went out to look at a 40 gallon tank on a wrought iron stand. When we got to his giant mansion with the spectacular view of the mountains he had set up the 40 gallon tank next to a 55 gallon one on a beautiful hardwood stand "just for comparison purposes". He is a smart business man. For just 25$ more I could have this huge, sturdy, kidproof tank (he already had childproofed the doors on the bottom). I was worried about the baby growing up a bit and trying to climb the iron legs of the smaller one. Oh it was so beautiful. I looked at Kris and said "What do you think honey? WE'LL TAKE IT!" all in the same breath.

Then we shoved the top part in my car and the bottom part in his car. A true meeting of the minds is what it took for this to succeed. I won't bore you with the details.

Kris cleaning the 55 gallon tank with Fluffy #1 eagerly watching nearby

We got it home, cleaned it a bit, and set it up in the living room. The next day I went to the store and got gravel, an airstone, a sculpture, some REAL plants (cheaper than fake ones, believe it or not) and an airpump that could handle that size tank (ON SALE yeehaw!).





I raced home, set it all up, and then we filled it with the hose from the spigot in the garage (this means ICE cold water) and added what we thought was chlorine neutralizer. Oh well, we would wait a couple of days with the air running and let it get to room temp.

Pre-filter, before I realized it was too close to the wall

Then I had the bright idea to put the filter on it also and run that for a few days. Well this is where we realized that we hadn't accounted for the back of the filter being 4" deep and the space between the wall and the tank being 2.5" deep. Oy.

We broke out the siphons and drained half the tank. A 55 gallon tank on a stand with 50 lb of gravel in it weighs about 650 lb. Yeah not budging.

Draining it into pots and pans and buckets, lol.

Draining it made it movable. So then I had the bright idea to fill the rest of it back up with hot water in order to even out the temp and hopefully put the fishies in there. I am an incredibly IMPATIENT person by the way. I hate waiting. Its really like torture for me. Gotta work on that. We put in more of what looked like dechlorinator and let the filter run for about an hour or so. Then it was time for bed. I realized that the ammonia in the 10 gal tank that the big fish were in could possibly kill them without the filter running so I figured, hey they are goldfish. They can go from pond to tank with no problems. Let's throw them in. The temp was good, and everything else was running, so why not?

Setting the big fish free-ish

At first they seemed ok. But then the big one was laying on the bottom gasping. I knew in my gut this was bad. I said to Kris, "Honey I think we should take them out...I don't like how that big one looks." The little one was swimming all over so he said "I think they just need to get used to it. Let's let them adjust." I really had a hard time with what to do. But he seemed so reassuring and the little one looked so peppy that I just left them in. All night long I had nightmares about dead fish.

Big Fat Chubby before he kicked it :(

The next morning when I woke up was like a dream also, except it was real.

I bolted upright in bed when Kris came up from having breakfast.
"Are they dead??"
"Yes."
"Oh. Damn."

He had already disposed of them so I wouldn't have to see them and cry. Bless his heart.

So here I had this 55 gallon possible Tank of Death (as my friend Astrid says). I started playing with the pH tester. Turns out the pH is really alkaline and the pH of the tank they were in was really acidic. This could have been a problem. I went running back to the lady at the pet store down the street. She said it could have been shock. She suggested I buy a bunch of .29 feeder goldfish (which apparently if not eaten by some hideous predatory fish or snake can grow to a good 12-14") and let them break the tank in. I got 8 of them. They are all still alive and its been 2 days.

Cheap Goldfish Flourishing

This one has a comb-over and a mustache. I call him Adolf.

The live plants. Much prettier than the fake ones!

HOWEVER: I think I solved the mystery of why the big ones really died. I mean, come on, they are GOLDFISH. They are hardy, and a little alkaline water shouldn't kill them that quick. As I was doing a water change on my other tanks today I noticed the water in the bucket I was using to add new water was turning a yellowy color every time I filled it up. I changed 2/3 of the tropical tank and the water was really cloudy after. I didn't think much of it. I used the yellow bottle of dechlorinator (or so I thought) each time as usual. Then when I went to change out the small goldfish tank in the kitchen (10 gal) I was reading the yellow bottle and it said "Water Clarifier". WAIT a minute that ain't right!! This bottle had come with the 29 gallon tank's miscellaneous chemicals and it was identical to the Chlorine Remover bottle!! SO its entirely possible that I used that bottle when I filled up the 55 gallon tank and they died from the chlorine :(

I feel so stupid.

This week's "Life Lessons for Dum Dums": Be Patient, read labels even if you think you know what you are using, and be patient. Don't fry your fish before they hatch. That's deep.

Chicken a la TohMAHtoh

I am why Mommy doesn't get anything done!

I spent most of this morning full of resolve to get some housework done before getting online and getting lost in my day. I did manage to....hmmm well it seems I cannot remember exactly what it might be that I actually did. I'm pretty sure that I ate breakfast though. And perhaps I ... oh yes I called the collection agency and they blessed me for letting them know I was going to pay off a medical bill that I'd been slowing chipping away at for the last almost 3 years. I think the woman on the other end of the phone would have kissed me if she could have. Apparently they don't get that a lot.

Alright well I guess I didn't really do a dang thing this morning. I visited my friend for a couple of hours, had a cup of coffee, and then at 1 o'clock realized that I really needed to get back into making dinner again. It had been 3 days since I have actually cooked a meal and I was on a pretty good streak there. I got lazy. Monday night I promise the kids Lasagne (or is it lasagna?) and had full intention of making it from scratch which is something that feels waaaay out of my league. Alex had been begging me to make it for several days so when it suddenly was 4:30 and I still hadn't started it I couldn't let the kid down. I went to the store to get "ingredients" and they went to their Dad's for a bit. When they got home I had magically Stouffered a beautiful delicious tray of Lasagna! Well, actually I bought it, ran into the house and threw it at Kris and asked him to cook it and then ran back out to go pick up the kids. Does that count? I FEEL like I made dinner. I mean I was sweating from all the running around...

Anyhoopdeedoo, (ooh spell check doesn't like that word...) I did realize at 1:00 I needed to make dinner for realz tonight so I went to the Hannaford's and bought myself some boneless chicken breast. Darn those are expensive. But only the best for my little darlings. When I got home, I threw them in the crockpot (SPLAT!) and then dumped in a can of Campbell's Tomato soup, a can of water, and diced tomatoes. I drained them the smart way this time:

Less mess, and no utensils to clean up HA HA!

I also added a dash of oregano, a pinch of basil, and chopped 2 cloves of garlic. I put a tiny pinch of turmeric in and then stopped because I don't know if my kids would have eaten it. I'll save Indian flavoring for a night when its just Kris and I.



I started the crack pot around 1:30 and let it cook till 5:30 and it was DONE. Sweet. I got everyone to the table around 6 and set my masterpiece in front of them. Then I realized that all we had was a chunk of chicken and some watery tomato juice. I completely forgot to make something for it to go on like rice, or noodles. I had a fleeting though of throwing pasta in and apparently it evaporated. Oops.

Everyone either liked it or pretended to like it. That's good enough for me.

Remember This Book?

Yay the Scholastic book order came in! I remember this one from when I was a kid and I ordered it for my kids. Alex probably will like it even with his high reading level ha ha

I also previously have ordered and received Shell Silverstein's Where the Sidewalk Ends but neither kid has shown an interest yet. Its partly my fault that I keep forgetting to read it to them!!!

...and the M.O.T.Y. award goes to....

...some other mother who actually pays attention to the world around her and not just her own selfish needs!!!!!



Oy. Its another holiday. You know, the one where love is supposed to be in the air and we are all supposed to trade cards and candy even if we don't really know or like the other person all that much. NO i'm not talking about your spouse/significant other.

Remember in school when Valentine's day came around and it was almost as good as Easter or Christmas because you KNEW there would be a party with candy and chaos! And as you got into the older grades you couldn't wait to see what little foldable piece of cardboard that cute guy or gal you'd been crushing on since Halloween would choose for you!!

In my kid's case, it was what Valentine I chose based on what the kid's name was and what I thought they might look like. Pretty names got the "Will you be my Battle Brawler" Bakugan cards, and boring names got "Time to Brawl!" Bakugan cards. Each card had a freakin tiny little tattoo that was supposed to go in it. SOMEONE please tell me HOW THE HECK are you supposed to keep the tattoo inside the card? All you have to keep the card shut is this tiny little red heart sticker that rips when you take it off the sticker sheet. SO I had to scotch tape each tattoo to each card.

You may be asking, why isn't Alex (the child in question) doing all this hard work?

Let me tell you why. Because he has ME for a mother! When it comes to sitting down and having heart to heart talks about important stuff like, "Honey let me show you what a black lung looks like on Google Image search. Don't ever smoke" and, "Honey let's look at what cirrhosis of the liver looks like on WebMD. Don't ever drink." I AM YOUR MOMMA.

But when you need someone who's head is screwed on in the correct direction who knows how to read a calendar and also knows what month and even sometimes year it is you may need to look elsewhere. Supermom I am not. Hell I barely remember my own birthday. There is something about appointed dates and times that my brain just does not like to hold on to. I know I am not alone with this. But sometimes I feel so bad for my kids that they are the only ones who didn't have Valentine's to pass out to their friends. Or the ones who's mom said she would send in a package of Butterscotch Chips to a peanut free classroom and she bought Peanut Butter chips because it was the same color as butterscotch.

Anyhoodle, this morning around 10:30am I remembered I had not had the kids make their Valentines (WHICH my Mother who IS closer to Supermom and still possesses super powers of ESP went out and BOUGHT FOR ME because she knows I am a tard and never remember). Luckily for Alex we were bringing the baby to his Valentine's party at 1:30pm. I returned home from a trip to Burlington this morning at exactly 1:01pm and feverishly prepared his cards using the list provided by the teacher that I came THIS close to chucking in the trash yesterday. I only made 2 duplicates and left out 1 other kid so hey 21 out of 22 kids got their cards.

And 1 out of 2 kids ain't bad I guess. Poor Alicia.

Homemade-ish Tomato Alphabet Beef Stew Soup Edible Mostly Food

This dinner is rated SM for Super Messy!

What are YOU lookin' at?

I have been wanting to make my own tomato soup for a long time. I hate how much sodium is in canned soup and while there is probably a reason for it (i.e. tastes like doggie doo with out it) there must be a way to make it taste tasty without it.

Ok well that was a nice dream. Here's what I really did:

I took 1 can Campbells' tomato soup (sodium and all)
1 pack stew beef thawed
1 can water
1 cup alphabet pasta
chopped 1 celery stalk
2 cloves garlic
teaspoon or so of oregano
4 shakes of dried basil
1 huge can of diced tomatoes

I started this adventure around 3:30pm. Honestly I had no idea how long it would take, but I was so damn lazy all day that this was when I remembered I was going to make it!

So I hear that roasted tomatoes make tomato soup taste amazing. I am new to roasting, and cooking in general so I looked at Astrid's recipe. It said to heat the oven to 450 and drain the tomatoes, put the nast...I mean tasty chunks in a roasting pan (I used a 13x9 non stick metal brownie pan) drizzle with olive oil and roast for 15-20 minutes (until carmelized). She has some beautiful pics that seriously if I had not had them to look at I would have been baffled. It showed this strainer thingie that I do NOT own so I asked Maggie, "What, should I use pantyhose or something?" She suggested my bare hands. BARF no way. In one of my "mystery cupboards" as I like to call them I found one of those collapsible collanders that I used to like to wear on my head as a child and pretend I was one of the Star Troopers.



Here is my "Life Lesson for the Mentally Challenged" tip of the day: Do not use a collapsible collander thingy to strain diced tomatoes. You may as well use your bare hands. Trust me on this one. Go to the Dollar General and BUY A STRAINER for a dollar. :)

Once I had cleaned up the huge mess of goo from straining the tomatoes, I dumped them into the pan. OH and save the juice. Hopefully if you are crazy enough to read this and follow the instructions, you read them all first and aren't like me who does things as she goes hahaha

ANYWHO put the juice in a pan of some sort.


Now, just because I like to think outside the crack pot, I decided to chop up the garlic cloves with a Kitchen Aid (yeah I need a lot of that) chopper thingy, and throw it in with the tomatoes because I LOVE roasted garlic.



I also chopped up about a third of an onion and put it in the tomato juice just because I can.


PS. Kitchen Aid Chopper Thingy does NOT work well with onions.



I should have called this blog "Creative Cooking" LOL!!!

I found out that to roast things you want the oven rack in the middle, not up at the top. No, I didn't find that one out the hard way. Although unusual, sometimes I DO manage to think ahead like a normal person and ask questions of those more mentally endowed than myself :)



I let the tomatoes roast for 15 minutes. I'm still not sure the answer to "Does carmelized mean burned into the pan" but whatever, I scraped them out and threw them into the crack pot. Then I poured the juice in with the onion also. I garnished with the oregano and the basil and put the lid on.



As I still have no sense of smell due to this annoying cold that won't go away I had to have my husband do a taste test:

He likes it! He really likes it! Ok ok it was really hot and he's trying not to drop the baby

The only thing I regret doing after all was said and done was putting another cup of Alphabet noodles in. I did it for my daughter's sake. It made a hell of a mess in the bottom of the ceramic part of the cooker though. I left that for my darling husband.

Here is the finished product:

If my 5 year old looks at it and says "That looks DELICIOUS" then I feel that I have accomplished something today.

The cat, however, did not throw up during the making of this meal so perhaps she was just humoring me...

Autumn sez "I'm scared."

OK Did Someone Tell This Virus I Don't Have Insurance??

OMGoodness I am sooooooooo sick of this I keep getting the same cold over and over. Its becoming like an old friend. I am gonna buy stock in Puffs Plus Lotion!! I buy it in bulk now about every 3 days!!! The edges of my nostrils have grown plate armor and I have decided it makes more sense to just shove the tissue up there and leave it. My baby looks at me like I have three heads (or just one really freaky looking one) but she never seems to get sick. Why is it soooo cute when they puff that lower lip out?

For dinner tonight I plan to make a Tomato Beef Alphabet Stew. I am kind of taking a different recipe that my good friend Astrid posted on her blog and adding a few things of my own! I am doing the alphabet noodles because my picky middle child LOVES that PBS show "Martha Speaks" about a dog who can talk because she eats Alphabet Soup so I'm hoping that appeals to her. We'll see if she can look past the tomatoes and spices!

I have spent most of the day on my netbook (not unusual) chatting with friends and trying to promote myself. I joined Twitter (follow me...I don't really know what else to do!) and created a Fan page on Facebook for my little business that I renamed Moonshine Designs & Photography. I have high hopes that I will be able to get back into jewelry making soon. My friend Maggie is inspiring me left and right and I'm starting to get the itch again!! Its kind of exciting!

Laundry Stats:

Clean Laundry: 5 baskets
Folded Laundry: 1 basket
Dirty Laundry: 2 baskets

I think the laundry's winning. Oy vey.

I Know I Said I Wanted To Go Hiking.....

...but this is ridiculous!!!

Laundry to do

Can't this crap fold itself???

Seems like everything is happening in mountains today. Mountains of laundry, mountains of dishes, mountains of kleenex on the floor from my damn recurring headcold. Luckily I have this cute baby who keeps smiling at me non-stop and makes it all go away:

Like Fish Out Of Water...every time we went around a turn!

Yes, those are fish in a bucket between my knees on the floor of my car. No, I'm not driving hahaha!

My mom pointed out a pattern she sees in my life: Get 1 cat, and then another and another and another. Have 1 kid, then another and another. Get 1 fishtank, then another and another...

So what happened yesterday was I went to the Colchester Winter Carnival where 3 of my photos were auctioned off. I met up with my friend Astrid there and she mentioned that someone she knew had some large goldfish they were going to FLUSH (calling Mr. Rotorooter...). Me, being a sucker for all living creatures, piped up and said "I'll take them!!!" My husband, always wanting to make me happy, said "Sure why not" and we agreed to meet up at her house after the carnival.

Now, when I say large goldfish, I don't mean 3 or 4 inches long. I'm talking 10 INCH LONG FISH. Like the kind you can fillet and pan fry in lemon and butter sauce. Hey, they ARE part of the Carp family!!



The sweet woman who was giving them away also gave me beautiful 10 gallon tank on a stand that she kept them in.

The only thing left was to get them home : a 20ish minute drive on back roads!

Since they were so big we had to put them in a plastic mop bucket (just like if we caught 'em ourselves) and pray that no one rear ended us on the way. Our first challenge: making it down the extremely long dirt driveway from the house we got them from. Kris did good...right till the end where a surprise row of potholes got my gorgeous fake suede faux fur boots wet. All I could imagine was one of those suckers jumping in my lap and me having to TOUCH IT!!!

We made it home with most of the water still in the bucket and now Fluffy #2 has a new entertainment center!



PS: If anyone knows of a 20 gallon or bigger tank that is either free or cheap please send me a message or leave a comment as these Big Beauties are cramped in the tiny 10 gallon tank! I only need a tank, not all the other stuff (although a stand would be appreciated) :)

Yeah, I gotta Muffin Top. What's it to ya?

I've had it with wearing sweatpants. From about the 7th month of my pregnancy (around mid July 2009) I became too large to comfortably wear jeans. Jeans were my secret obsession up until this baby. I literally owned close to 50 pairs all size 2 up to a size 9 (Juniors. HA HA yeah like that will happen ever again). See, before I got remarried in 2007 I was an average of 120 pounds at 5'7". Yeah, I was skinny. And I loved every minute of it.

Marriage plopped about 10 lb onto me. See, I have this ridiculously skinny husband who is one of those freaks of nature that can eat an entire pizza and lose 5 lb from the effort. At first, I was hoping I was also a freak of nature. Turns out I'm just a freak.

Next, I got pregnant. I tried to keep up my walking and was doing the Shred with my neighbor every single morning at 6:00am (walking was at 5:30am on those days). I managed to make it to 7 months pregnant with this exercise. Then my neighbor moved from right next door to about 5 miles away. Way inconvenient. I vowed to keep getting my sorry butt up at 5:30 to walk since it was summertime, but I was working full time and slowly all dissolved into laziness. I enjoyed sleeping an extra 1.5 hrs and then in the evenings I was so exhausted from being pregnant all day that I just sat on the couch and watched TV and then went to bed. Three months of that and I hit 186 lb by the time I gave birth. Oy.

When you are large and awkwardly shaped, sweatpants are about the only thing that fit you. And yoga pants, which are essentially snobby sweatpants with a convenient panel at the top that skinny people roll over to hold them up and fat (or pregnant) people can use to pull up over their belly to disguise embarrassing things that may hang out from under their shirts!

I am now 14 weeks postpartum, and let me tell you I am sick of my biggest clothing decision being "The black sweatpants today or the brown?"

Luckily I had a pair of Daisy Fuentes size 10 women's jeans that I had bought at Goodwill for this very occasion. I am not really a size 10 yet, more like a 12 or maybe a 14 I really have no clue. All I know is that I have only lost 10 lb since coming home from the hospital at 169 lb.

I dug through the Jean Graveyard in the back of my closet (essentially a large wicker hamper that houses my dreams and fantasies) and found my Fuentes. What I love about Daisy Fuentes is she is a curvy Hispanic (or is it Latina? Eh, whatev.) and she makes her jeans so that if at first you don't succeed getting them on, wiggle, jiggle, and try again! Eventually they will fit!

I got these bad boys up to the tops of my thighs and almost shed a tear in exhaustion. Then when I was about to give up a little voice in my head said, "Pull a little harder and wiggle to the right". POP! Up they went over my generous backside and WOO HOO I got them buttoned! I did the usual squat and contort that all us girls do when we are trying to "break in" a pair of stretch jeans. The moves that loosen them up in all the right places so that when we sit down we don't immediately SPROING back up again from the tension.

I wore them all day. I felt like a human being again. My husband started looking at me like he used to pre-pregnancy. I'm scared. :)

Shine a Light on Me...or actually no don't please I can't take it

Today's fun is consisting of me wrassling dust bunnies between Etsy listings. I put my freaking adorable baby in the bouncy chair and turned on PBS so I could try to get something done.

My motivation today: its sunny out and I can see every speck of dirt and wisp of hair on the white (white? what were they thinking??) kitchen floor. I really hate sunny winter days. I think the sun reflects on the snow and highlights the worst in everything. Every pore, zit, wrinkle, dustball, and streak of mud is like GLOWING right now. I don't look up when I pass a mirror. I did manage a shower yesterday, that was cool.

I am currently trying to get State help for food, fuel, and health care. We currently lack in the insurance department as I may have mentioned, and I didn't win the damn lottery, so I'm going the more sane route. Well, it seemed sane at the time. Apparently the State of Vermont gets an extra 1 MILLION DOLLARS if they make sure they cross their "t's" and dot their "i's" according the extremely nice customer service lady I talked to.

If you are looking for the Vermont Department of Children and Families (DCF) Website click HERE!

Here is some advice for any Vermonter applying for this same help:

• If you are DOWNLOADING AND PRINTING this application from the web, make sure you call and get a form called "Termination of Employment". This is not found on the web that I can see. The number to call is 1-800-479-6151. They will not process your application if you are in this situation without it.
• Another thing they needed was a "Mortgage Bill". This is basically a statement from your lender stating your monthly payment. You know, that thing they send you every month telling you what exorbitant amount you have to pay to keep your house. I escrow my taxes and they will want to know this also (I believe there is a place on the main application for this info).
  
• Make sure that if someone in your house is still working that you include the last 30 days worth of paystubs. My husband's are extremely annoying to try to print out as they are electronic but located on a website that has no Print button. The only way to print was to use Internet Explorer (ugh) and use the File>Print in the menu.
  

I hope some of this helps someone. I absolutely hate dealing with this crap but it has to be done.

If you are looking for Vermont Health Insurance Help click HERE!

Recipe for Disaster

So that Half and Half pizza I blogged about yesterday? Well it made it all the way to the table. Then I realized it was on my teflon cookie sheet and I didn't want to run the pizza cutter over that, so my husband sez "Put it on the wooden cutting board." Excellent idea, wish I'd thought of it. Before I had taken it over to the table.

Using a spatula to slide it deftly onto the wood I then pulled the cookie sheet away. Apparently in my zest for getting the job done quickly I didn't realize that I had one end of it resting on the top of a chair. My wrists, weak from typing too much, gave and I had one of those "That did NOT just happen" moments. Oh Yeah, it happened:

So today's "Life Lessons for Chowderheads" is: Do any and all food transfers over a shelf or the sink. Ya know, just in case ;)